This track is a list of the 99 names that we came up with for our quartet. The majority of these names were decided upon one late night in Wells hall with the members of the quartet and Mary, who contributed some of the best names here. We'll (gradually) add some details about the inside jokes behind some of these names.
But the question remains, why come up with 99 names??? Basically, we were thinking and had a fair amount of ideas for a name. But we weren't able to decide on one, so we decided to come up with as many as we could. Eventually we thought of making 99 names, and then we could be the Ninety and Nine (referring to the story in the New Testament, because for the most part, excluding the occasional goofiness, we were good kids). And so the list began, and here it is, in its entirety, with commentaries:1. The Chronological Scholastics--Not really sure where the Chronological part came from, but we were all fairly strong students, and we were at college, so the scholastic part came in there.
2. NISP-4 - This satnds for "Number of Identified Specimens: 4" which is an archaeological term, I believe. Peter came up with this one.
3. The Silly Goofballs - Well, I think this name is just an accurate description of the group. Listen to the CD your self and you'll see.
4. Slap Happy - We liked to hit each other while we sang...
5. The Gratcheteers - Well, for this one to make sense, we'll have to have an explanation of what a gratchet is. I think that deserves its own post.
6. 6 Foot 2, Eyes of Glass - A reference to the song "Five foot two, eyes of blue, but oh what those five feet can do..." which is a classic a cappella barbershop quartet song. All of us had glasses and were around 6'2" to 6'3".
7. 6 Foot Four Eyes - A nice pun based on the fact that we all wore glasses and were tall.
8. The Quartet - This is what we were called most often, so we had to put it in the list.
9. Cow Wars - I believe Peter saw this in a newspaper headline somewhere. I don't know why it made it on to the list.
10. E =
11. The Simpletons--Sometimes we were pretty simple and relied on the basics. Like the time when I bought 200 mini-tortillas from Wal-Mart for 4 dollars and lived of them for at least a month.
12. Those Four Guys -- We were four guys, and if people saw us, they would flippantly respond, "Oh, it's those four guys."
13. The Proppers-- As everybody knows, one cannot be inherently funny without a prop. In fact, there is a website that teaches us how to be funny in 5 steps. We read this website together (Eric introduced the website to the group, after himself being introduced to the site in 2001 while at Ricks College) and thought it was hilarious. So, quite often during performances, Eric would have his prop and be holding it while we sang. It was a water bottle.
14. Be Flat--This is a lame pun (which, unfortunately, the aforementioned website believes are not funny...we heartily disagree) in which the phrase "Be Flat" sounds the same as the musical note "B Flat." It also reminds me of a lame joke that I'm sure Eric told on more than one occasion: "Why is crossing the road like music? Because if you don't C#, you'll Bb!!" Lame, I know. But Eric was the master of lame jokes. This name is also a subtle reference to an episode from the Simpsons in which Homer was part of a barbershop quartet. Their name was the Be Flats.
15. Dissonance--According to dictionary.com, dissonance is "A harsh, disagreeable combination of sounds." You draw your own conclusions from this.
16. Consonance--According to dictionary.com, consonance is "A simultaneous combination of sounds conventionally regarded as harmonious or pleasing." Emphasis on the "conventionally."
17. Three Men and a Peter--Mostly to make fun of Peter, though we're not really sure why, we wanted to not so subtly infer that Peter was not a man, while the rest of us supposedly were. It also has a reference to the movie "Three Men and a Baby."
18. The Babeless Wonders and Jacob--While we were singing, the only guy to be in anything resembling a healthy relationship (Eric's adventure with Jessie notwithstanding) was Jacob Broderick. Hence, Eric, Jacob Stewart and Peter were the Babeless Wonders, and Jacob stood alone.
19. The Chemics--Jacob Stewart was a chemistry major. We also had a friend, Brigitte Wilson, who was from Midland, MI. Midland also happens to be the headquarters for Dow Chemical and the mascot for the local high school was the Chemics.
20. We're Not as Fat as You're Drunk We Think--I don't remember where this came from, except it was VERY late at night and it remains one of my top-five favorite names.
21. The Four Pillars--We were all very tall, as previously noted, making us four pillars. Of course, there is the additional reference to the Five Pillars of Islam. Not that we were putting ourselves on the pedestal of the basis of a religion, but we were (as we often did) trying to connect two things that have completely nothing to do with each other.
22. The Green Knights--Not sure as for a reason for this. Perhaps it is an outside reference to the tale of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. I'm not sure on this one.
23. The Back of the Boxcar--This neither
24. B-rah and the Paperclips--Jacob Broderick, due to his last name, was referred to on rare occasion as B-rah (pronounced Bee Raw). Jacob Stewart, Peter, and Eric were the Paperclips due to a song, penned by Peter, entitled "Ode to a Paperclip." This tune will be addressed in further detail in the Addendum: Hits that didn't make the Debut Album.
25. The Official Dueling Club--While never actually participating in real, Aaron Burr-esque duels, Jacob and Peter created an "Official Dueling Club." There were rules, especially involving what could and could not be used as weapons during Official Dueling Club Sanctioned Duels. For more information, see the track entitled "ODC Notice."
26. Old Men in Embryo--When we first made this CD, were were all fairly young--18 or 19. However, we knew that we would not stay young forever, and that we were merely preparing ourselves for life as old men. So, we were Old Men in Embryo in that we were in the preparatory state.
27. Peter Steele and the Kleptos--A pun on Peter's last name (Steele/Steal, get it?). Also, although it is debated if the name caused the tendency or vice-versa, Eric was known to occasionally steal salt and pepper shakers from 168 F. Smith Hall. Jacob Stewart would also help in the stealing of small objects.
28. The Fantastic Four--Let's face it, we were in our prime. We were fantastic, and there were four of us. So, a comparison to the Fantastic Four of the comic books was apropos.
29. Amazing Grace--Not sure how this came about.
30. Charm, Wit, Talent, and Quack--Four characteristics of each of the singers. Jacob Broderick was charm, for at the time, he had the only relationship (he was dating Mary Miles, who is now Mary Steele *see name # 27, and fill in the blanks*). Peter was Wit, because he had a way with words and no matter what he said, it was funny. Jacob Stewart was Talent, because, well, he was talented. Eric was Quack, for reasons that even today remain unknown.
31. The Chemistry Rangers--Jacob Stewart was initially given this nickname by Brigitte when they were in the same Chem 111H class their first semester at college (Jacob still has the textbook where she wrote it as evidence. The book is a very good text on Chemical Thermodynamics. But I digress.). Jacob and Peter began to use this term and The Lone Gratcheteer (see below) to refer to a couple of made-up characters named Pinto and Jac, loosely based on Peter and Jacob, respectively. A full explanation of all that deserves its own post.
32. The Lone Gratcheteers--See above and #5.
33. Evidence of Life on Mars - This name implies that we are alien creatures, an easy mistake to make when seeing our antics.
34. Doo-Razer Assault Gratchets (DRAG)--See #5.
35. Ring By Spring or Your Quartet Back--It is a well-known fact that LDS college students come to BYU to get married. They're not here for the education, or for the sports, they're here to help qualify themselves to serve in bishoprics around the world. In other words, they're here to find their other half. And we were willing to help. With us at your side, singing romantic ditties for your loved one that you met last week in the Cougareat, we guarantee that you will buy a ring (or receive a ring, depending on your gender) by the end of winter semester or we will fully refund your lost time, money, and pride. Nobody ever took us up on the offer.
36. Fear of Commitment--This tended to be an issue among the group. Maybe it was more of an apathy towards commitment than a fear of commitment. However, after five years we can happily report that this fear has been overcome, and we now have 8 people with rings of commitment on their fingers.
37. The Funny Farmers--Not really sure where this came from. I think it's a reference to that one song that begins: "They're coming to take me away, hah hah, to the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time."
38. The He-man Woman Haters--a quote from the movie Little Rascals
39. Heck of a Fetching Load of Shizzy--In Utah, people swear. They just don't do it the same way everyone else in the country does. Here in Utah, people use, among other things, Heck, Fetch, Shizzy (or Shiz) as slang. So, we decided to mock the Utards, er, Utahns.
40. What?--My sentiments exactly
41. Sonata Quartet--A pun, because a sonata is a musical composition of sorts, and yet when you say it out loud, you hear "(It)'s not a quartet." Which we obviously were, since there were four of us.
42. Who are these Guys?!?--A question many people asked.
43. The Harem Daters--The answer to the previous question. :) Seriously though, I don't know why we were the Harem Daters. Maybe because we always hung out with all of 168? Plus a couple other girls who would frequently join, like Sarah or Ashley? From what I recollect, though, most of it was hanging out and not dating...Elder Oaks would be ashamed. (Side note from Jacob: Peter and I initially talked about the terms harem dating and polygadating, the difference being in the number of girls, though I can't remember the exact cutoffs anymore. Anyways, that's how the name got put on this list, originating from our inside joke.)
44. Apotheosis--Defined by dictionary.com to mean "The elevation of a person to the rank of a god. " Also, it means the ideal example, epitome, or quintessence. I think we just thought it was a cool word. Or that we were tongue-in-cheekly implying that we were the epitome of barber-shop-quartet-ness.
45. Deification --A synonym of apotheosis, it was mentioned on the list for the same reasons.
46. Ancient Monkey Rating Mituals --The only thing interesting about this is that there was an (intentional?) spoonerism going on. A spoonerism, of course, is when you mix up the first syllable of two words in a phrase, like "Boy Toat" or "Starrot Cicks." This was named after the Reverend William Spooner, who was notorious in his creation of spoonerisms.
47. Fully Clothed Men--We took the name of the band "Bare-Naked Ladies," and since we wanted to be 100% different from them, but still make a subtly veiled reference to them, we took the exact opposite of their name and made our own.
48. Semantic Nonsense--Semantics are the usage of words to mean different things than what they originally intended. Semantic nonsense, then, is the usage of words to mean absolutely nothing. Which is what happened quite frequently when we tried to speak. Especially to cute girls. A synonym might be "random babbling."
49. Gone Fishing--We left and went fishing, like the sign says.
50. The "Oh My Hecks"--Another reference to Utah-isms.
51. Backstabbing Mozart--Eric used to listen to a song made popular in the 1970s called Backstabbers, by the O'Jays. Why we wanted to backstab Mozart, I'm not sure.
52. Bachstabbers--Yet again combining puns with music. A musician (Bach) being combined with the tune Backstabbers, by the O'Jays.
53. Crossfire--This was a pretty sweet game that had commercials a plenty for it in the early to mid-90s. You shot silver balls across the board with the gun and tried to shoot as many as you could into the other guy's bin.
54. The Oneders--A blatant rip-off from the movie "That Thing You Do," in which the hit band was entitled "The Oneders." We made sure to pronounce ours the "Oh-Need-Ers."
55. Roasted Starbursts --Peter and I participated on our ward's intramural volleyball team (Jacob guest-starred as the line judge, and we had many of our 168 friends be our cheering squad). The name of the team was "Roasted Starbursts," because you can roast starbursts over a fire like you can with marshmallows. Our team did really well, we made it to the semifinals of the tournament. Our highlight of the year was, after being down 14-8 and facing match point, we rallied 8 straight points to come back to win 16-14 and win the match the next set.
56. Hats without Tights--A play on the musical creators of Safety Dance and Pop Goes the World, Men without Hats.
57. Hastily Looted Blood Banks--Not sure where this came from.
58. Adam's Bane--I remember talking once about the mythological/apocryphal creature Lilith, who was supposedly Adam's first wife, before Eve. How this relates to Adam's Bane, I'm not sure. Maybe she was Adam's Bane, maybe it related to the Adamic language, I can't remember.
59. The Fedoras--Felt hats are cool. :) Fedora is also a Linux-based operating system, though sources are unclear as to whether or not this had any bearing on the name choice.
60. The Low-Grade Nuclear Weapons--This was a weapon that was approved for Official Dueling Club sanctioned duels.
61. The Mother of All Bombs--Kind of the opposite of the previous name, but we thought it would be neat to have that much power.
62. Four Hits, a Bounce, and a Carry--This name refers to our aforementioned volleyball team. We would be a lot better if we were allowed four hits, a bounce, and a carry. There is also a lame pun involved, as Kari Busath was our team captain.
63. Extremely Violent Slapstick--Similar to Slap-Happy, we liked to prod each other during our songs, mostly for kicks.
64. Zombie Vaudeville--Not sure why we were zombies, but we enjoyed the vaudeville style of combining singing and comedy.
65. The Smash Crew--Oh, this is a good one. One of our pastimes while not singing together was hanging out in apartment 159, because they had a Nintendo Gamecube. Our game of choice (pretty much the only game we played) was Super Smash Brothers: Melee. Quite regularly we would hold either regular tournaments (playoff-style) or what we denoted as "Roy-Marth battles," in which we would give ourselves one life only, play at Hyrule Castle, and set the death bar really low, so that we wouldn't die until we had almost 300% or more damage. Eric had this quirk about his game-playing that he would virtually always be Jiggly-Puff, the cute little pink girl fuzzball, walk up next to someone, fall asleep, and throw them off the board, often stealing other people's kills.
66. The Buddy System --We were buddies, and we were big fans of safety for children at play. And we were pretty much always together, leading us to refer to the Buddy System.
67. Three Guys, a Pitch Pipe, and another Guy--This name is great because, while it mentions the four guys (that's us) it also mentions a pitch pipe. The thing is, we didn't have a pitch pipe! We had one of those tuning forks that only played an A, and then Eric used his sense of relative pitches to get the correct note from there. So, this name is a blatant lie.
68. Free Lunch--You know the phrase "There's no such thing as a free lunch" ? Well, just to be contrary, we decided to be called Free Lunch so that there would be such a thing. Plus on occasional occasions, we would be fed for our efforts (hooray for 168, as well as Ashley's Macaroni and Cheese boxes) so we received free lunches in exchange for singing/being goofy.
69. Communists Schommunists --I don't remember who first came up with this phrase, but it was used commonly to show our disdain and lack of fear of the Communist Party. Also, according to rinkworks.com, nonsensical rhyming is an irrefutable method of being persuasive, and this "rhyme" was used to prove their point.
70. Four Reasons to Go Deaf--One of Mary's creations; apparently she didn't think we were very good. Of all the names that are on this list, with the exception of the Ninety and Nine, this one has to be in the top 3.
71. Half-Full Glasses--We were optimists, and we all wore glasses. So, it's yet another pun, bringing in two characteristics through a common phrase.
72. Carpet Riders--Oh wow, this has a story behind it. Do you remember back in name #18 where it was mentioned as an aside that Eric had a brief adventure with a girl named Jessie? Well, first off, her name wasn't really Jessie. Second off, one evening, Jacob Stewart and Eric decided to make an impromptu song telling the story of these events (in allegorical form, of course). Jacob sang a bunch of different bass lines, and Eric sang the melody, making up lyrics as he went along. It ended up being about 8 minutes long. But in short, Eric and Jessie were at the carpet ride, sitting next to each other on the traditional Aladdin-sized carpet, and then Jessie started flirting with Eric. After some persuasion, Eric started flirting back. End of story. So we became the carpet riders. Luckily for all parties involved, this tune was too long to fit on the CD and has since disappeared into oblivion.
73. Dynamic Equilibrium--A Chemical term, meaning balance between opposite reactions.
74. Fluid Mechanics--A Chemical term, meaning the study of the movement and forces of fluids.
75. Born-Häber Cycle--A Chemical term, meaning the formation of an ionic compound by the reaction of a metal with a non-metal.
76.77. Galloping Gratchets--See #5.
78. A Pleasing Sound--Like I said before, we were optimists; we hoped people liked our singing. It is also similar to the Biblical phrase "A Joyful Noise." But we didn't want our songs to be called noise.
79. Tinkling Cymbals and Sounding Brass --A direct quote from the New Testament (1 Corinthians 13:1). Note that in the song when this name is mentioned, Jacob Stewart stops his percussion and does a trumpet fanfare in honor of the sounding brass.
80. Four-Way Stop--Basically, we were four people, and this phrase has the number four in it.
81. Wells Enough--There is the old adage, Leave well enough alone. We, however, lived in Wells Hall, named after Emmeline B. Wells, former president of the Relief Society. So we combined the two to get Wells Enough.
82. The Face-Centered Cubics--A Chemical term, describing a cube that has lattice points on the faces of the cube of which each unit cube gets exactly one half contribution, in addition to the corner lattice points, giving a total of 4 atoms per unit cell.
83. Hypercubes--A Geometric term, describing a closed compact convex figure whose 1-skeleton consists of groups of opposite parallel line segments aligned in each of the cube's dimensions, at right angles of each other.
84. Fridge Raiders--We liked other people to share their food with us. And if they didn't like it, we helped them gain food-sharing experience.
85. Twitterpated Tornadoes--Not sure where this came from, but we liked 2 word titles, and we liked alliteration, and some of our group members occasionally seemed twitterpated.
86. Southern Devils--One time for the ward talent show, we got a group together and played "The Devil Went Down to Georgia." Eric was on piano, Jacob Stewart and Peter were on vocals, Ashley Kunz was on fiddle, and we had a drummer and two guitars who I don't remember. It was quite fun! But since the Devil was in the South (Georgia is part of the Deep South, for those geographically limited) we decided to be the Southern Devils.
87. Ta Mère --A classic french insult introduced by Eric. Literally translated, it means "Your mom."
88. Dancing Cucumbers --A reference to Veggie Tales. One of their Silly Songs with Larry is the tale of the Dancing Cucumber, in which Larry sings in Spanish and Bob the Tomato translates. We learned the Veggie Tales theme song, so that is our connection with them.
89. Buenos Nachos--Eric's attempt at Spanish, which continually failed horribly. But it is always cooler to talk about chips and cheese than night-time anyways.
90. Intrinsically Funny Vacuums--According to rinkworks.com, some words are just intrisically funny. Their consonant and vowel combinations make them funny, no matter the context. Vacuum is one of these words due to their double-u (not w).
91. Canned Beef--Not sure where this came from.
92. Inter-Hole Sponge Material--Or this.
93. The Lines O' Bass--Despite the fact that traditional barber-shop quartets have 1 bass, two at the most, we had 3. So we were full of base-ness. Also, we sang some cool bass lines to accompany this song, as well as the Carpet Riders song, and Pioneer Children.
94. The Trouble Clefs--Well, it was sort of like The Treble Clefs, but we were known for being trouble-makers in our own weird way. So, Trouble-Clefs.
96. Three Guys and a Scandalous Flirt--Eric was the scandalous flirt. What else is there to say?
98. The RDCM's--This stands for Remote Duck Capture Mechanisms. This is an inside joke between Jacob Stewart and Peter. There used to be an irrigation ditch next to Wells Hall where a bunch of ducks lived. They have now migrated to the botany pond because the ditch has been filled in. Peter and I thought about different ways that we could capture the ducks. The RDCM was our best idea. The basic idea was to have a cattle prod and a net attached to a wheeled robot of some sort.
98.5 The Chris Wilson Fan Club (uh, no)--As we were making this recording in Apartment 159, our friend Chris Wilson walked in (since he lived in that apartment). He heard us making a list, and decided to add his own name to the list. Sadly, though, he was outvoted.
99. The Ninety and Nine--A compilation of the ninety-nine names, as well as a reference to the New Testament.
1 comment:
I told some kids in my ward today that I'm an "old man in embryo". They didn't get it. What are they teaching in Seminary these days?
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